big car
I bought a new car yesterday. Technically it's 6 years old, but it is new to me. I went to one of those car supermarkets that seem to have sprung up on the country's industrial estates over the last few years.
The deal with a car supermarket is that there's no price haggling. The price on the website/windscreen is the price you pay. It takes the hassle out of car buying, which is good.
So I had the money for a full purchase and the will to buy. I was determined to drive away with a new car, THAT SPECIFIC CAR I had seen on their website and nothing else. I informed the receptionist that I had a test drive booked, she introduced me to the salesman - an imposing figure in a sharp suit - who, despite his affable manner, had a slight air of expertly suppressed quiet menace about him. He led me to the car, let me look around it then we set off on the test drive.
5pm isn't a great time for driving on an industrial estate as most of the workers are on their way home (or heading to the nearby McDonald's) so the roads around the area were backed up. So the first five minutes was spent shifting between 1st and 2nd and testing the handbrake. The sales guy engaged in polite conversation, suggesting routes to take. Eventually on an open stretch of road I could actually get above 30mph.
I was happy to buy. He was happy to sell. When we got back to the office he started on the hard sell for extras: alloy wheel protection, tyre protection, paint protection, upholstery protection, 5 year warranty. Totalled up it added an extra two and a half grand onto the purchase price.
I said no. I'm on a budget. "Let me see if I can get a deal for you" he said and walked off. After five minutes he came back with a printed out sheet with "Manager's Special Offer" written in fancy pen. He took me through the figures that would "only" add another 1500 to the price.
Once again I said no, I'm on a budget. At which point a secret hand signal must have been made or invisible button must have been pushed by the salesman as the Sales Manager suddenly appeared and started trying to push these extras.
Again I said "I'm on a budget".
"We can offer a finance package" he said.
"I just want the car" I said.
"Ok, give us a minute" he said and disappeared with the sales guy.
My son was with me (as was my wife) and he's employed by the same company at another site. "You're doing great," he said. "I know for a fact our sales guys are on 60k a year before commission. Look at his watch when he comes back."
The guy came back with a different chap. At this point I took a quick look at his watch. It was colossal, a huge rectangular slab of gold with a ridiculously chunky strap that looked like it could anchor a cruise liner. It did not look cheap. That hardened my resolve to stick to my guns, guessing that ludicrously garish chunk of ostentation on his wrist had been financed by people he had relentlessly convinced into taking "the package."
They pushed again. Again I said no. "Let me tell you a story" the other guy - the general manager, no less - said.
"Actually, forgive the interruption, but let me tell you a story." I replied.
I then recounted the time my wife fell pregnant with our first child and I had enough money saved up to buy a camcorder so I could document our parental journey. We went to an electronics retailer and I found the device I wanted. The salesman suggested I paid for it with their finance package. I had cash. He suggested the package. I suggested I pay cash. He got his manager who also suggested I take the package. I said I had cash. They again tried to sell me the package at which point I just walked out, leaving my wife standing in the shop with them. I'm often reminded by her of this event & how awkward she felt.
Anyway the gist was "Push your fucking package again and I'm walking out", which I think they understood. At that point the sales guy's affable manner evaporated and he just reeled off his patter with zero emotion and handed me over to the person who handled finances.
Eventually I drove away in a new car. I kind of felt a little bad the sales guy didn't get his commission, but I remembered my son whispering to me that the £250 paint protection package the dude was hawking can be bought by employees for twenty quid and that feeling quickly dissipated.